Ahmaud Arbery

Most days, I go out for a run and count the mansions I see in Larchmont. Then, I come home, have a cup of coffee, read a book, and post my writing somewhere less people can read it. Today, that’s different.

When my sister and I go out for walks at night, my brother doesn’t come. “I don’t like walking around in Larchmont at night,” he’s said.

And we laugh, my sister and I, as white strangers approach us near the brook and take a moment to determine if we are in place or not. We hold our breaths and when they decide we’re okay, we let them go.

On February 23rd 2020, #AhmaudArbery was “enjoying a nice run on a beautiful day when he began to be stalked by armed men.” They cornered him. Shot him three times, eventually killing him, and then, as he was bleeding out, they turned him over to see if he was armed.

Ahmaud’s life was individual. It will never be replicated, or returned  to us, or given the chance to become. And yet, in all his brilliant singularity, Ahmaud Arbery was me. He was my brother or my dad. He was my uncle. He was my cousin. He was my sister.

Ahmaud died alone and in the street. Disposed of like a piece of roadkill. Ahmaud would have turned 26 today.

I keep thinking  about that Audre Lorde quote, “Your silence will not protect you.” How when I first read it years ago an electric current sent through my body. I think about how many ways we’ve been taught to stay small in order to stay safe. To put our hands up and be still. Never to talk back. Never to look up. Never to make a sudden movement for fear it might be our last.

And then I think about Ahmaud. His quiet footsteps. The way he stayed in his own lane until the very end. How he turned around. How he ran the other way. How he must have wondered which of the rules would get him home.

To my white and white-passing Latinx friends— there comes a time where your silence becomes betrayal. To separate your world from Ahmaud’s, or express temporary sadness, is an act of immediate and senseless violence. To react to Ahmaud’s murder in disbelief directly contradicts the history of our nation. To root the actions that follow in a theory that this does not happen right next door to you is perpetuating a dangerous and false reality. It is quite literally a matter of life and death that you educate yourself and join the fight against black bodies being hunted in this country.

Start here: https://act.colorofchange.org/sign/demand-justice-ahmaud/

There is no truth in existing both safely and quietly.  Ahmaud Arbery’s life mattered so much.

#IRunWithMaud